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Afghanistan, culture, daily life, foreign policy, humor, insurgents, international relations, jokes, Pakistan, politics
This is one of my favorite jokes I heard while in Afghanistan. It says a lot about Afghans and the rather grim humor they apply to life. I’ve also heard it with an airplane, but I like the boat one better. If it doesn’t make sense…see my previous post. 
An American, a Frenchman, a Pakistani, and an Afghan are all on a boat together. All of a sudden, the boat’s captain gets on the intercom and says,”We’ve hit an iceberg and are starting to sink. We have too much weight, so start getting rid of the heavy cargo.”
So the four men begin rummaging around the boat and throwing the heaviest things they can find overboard. After they’ve finished, they captain comes back on.
“Gentlemen, we’re still going down, toss everything overboard.”
The four men quickly get to work and start clearing out the boat, throwing everything that isn’t nailed down overboard. When they’re finished, they breathe a deep sigh until they hear the captain come back on.
“Gentlemen, it’s not enough. We’re still sinking. If there’s anything else you can find, please throw it overboard.”
They look around, but there is nothing left. They don’t know what to do.
Slowly, the American steps up, nods sadly, and pulls a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. He says, ”In my country, we have a lot of these.” And with some regret, he throws the cigarettes overboard.
The Frenchman is impressed by the American’s sacrifice and he steps up next and pulls a bottle of cologne out of his pocket. “In my country, we have a lot of these.” And with some regret, he throws the cologne overboard.
The Pakistani is also impressed by these sacrifices and he steps up next. But before he can speak, the Afghan grabs him and throws him overboard.
this one could go both ways.
Very true…
Yeah, I’m familiar with several versions of this joke involving an airplane. In Germany, it’s always the Turkish person who gets thrown out…
Too funny. I heard a version of this in Morocco where one-by-one, the passengers begin taking their own lives by gunshot to save the others. When the Frenchman puts the gun to his head, before he can pull the trigger, the Moroccan yells out, “No, no. Point at the gun at your stomach. I’ll eat your brains after your dead.” It’s a bit like “The Aristocrats” in that each teller can improvise to make it his or her own.
Haha, fantastic!
There is one which goes in India and is very famous in recent times:
A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip.
As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced “It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping.”
The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said “Please tie a pillow to my back.” This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain.
The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: “Please fix two pillows to my back.” But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly.
The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said “You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world For this, you may have two wishes!”
“Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness,” Sardar replied “In recognition of your kindness my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes.” “Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave.” The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. “If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it.
“And what is your second wish, ?” the Sheik asked.
Sardar smiled and said, “Tie the Pakistani to my back” !!!
PS: Sardar is a local word for a Sikh, who are very patriotic Indians, most of them serve in Indian Arm-forces and in Indian police.
That’s great! Thanks!